Today I found myself in a situation where i felt like a young child just learning how to talk.I was at a local produce junction run primarily by Hispanic individuals, thinking to myself that it would be the perfect place to practice conversing in Spanish. Wrong wrong wrong it was instead the perfect place for me to turn into a toddler.
It was my turn to get my produce and the woman behind the counter asked me the dreaded question "how can I help you"? Feeling rather daring I begin my reply in Spanish only to stumble and trip over my own tongue and/or even worse my brain. How do you say" I want" again? How do you say lime in Spanish ? and lemon?
Everything that I thought I knew all the simple....SIMPLE words that I knew went flying out of my head and I felt how my son must have when he was a toddler knowing what he wanted but just not possessing the vocabulary to express his needs, and so all he could do was hold out his chubby little hands point and say"some"?That's precisely how I felt and more or less in reality what I actually ended up doing.
Now though after relaying my relapse into childhood to my husband I know (until I actually have to use it again)how to ask for something that I need even really fancy like too.
Me ....OK so I've gone completely blank again. I shall get it I will I will I will!!!!!
But for now yo quiero will suffice.
Friday, September 17, 2010
american prude
I never thought of myself as a prude , I would like to think of myself as a somewhat open-minded individual. After a conversation with my husband I have found myself wondering is it me or is it a cultural difference?
"Learn a new language and you learn a new way of thinking". I am beginning to see that learning Spanish is not just learning different words for the same thought,but instead learning and having a completely different thought.
Case in point I had always been slim in nature turning thirty turned my slim body into a curvier one (I'm not overweight by any means just not what I had always been and comfortable with) this god awful progression has made me a bit self conscious.So when my husband watches the Spanish channels it aroused in me feelings of yes jealousy, to see all these scantly clothed vivacious beautiful women right there in my living room with my husband looking at them.Nothing to me could be more intimidating short of one of the woman coming into my home in person.So I asked my husband why they had to dress that way was it some sort of job requirement? No sooner had the words to my own insecurities bellowed out of my mouth I felt this strange feeling....I felt like an American prude...I had become the embodiment of how other cultures describe the American culture.Stiff and dull and yes...prudish and even that word prude sounds dull and horrible.
As my husband struggled( I believe )to answer my question and still managed to keep me from feeling even more intimidated he was able to help me see the above quote's validity. When you look at not the culture first but rather the Spanish language you can see how it influences the culture.Every word is either male or female... sex as my husband pointed out is embedded into the culture through the language.Thus the way the women in particular dress and carry themselves is not anything other than the their strong confidence in their own sexuality emanating from within.
Understanding this however did not spontaneously erase my reluctantly admitted insecurities however.But as they say acceptance is the first step in recovery.That is precisely what I need to do recover my self confidence and become a stronger yes gulp more sensuous woman.I feel this is necessary. My husband perhaps unknowingly struck a very sensitive cord by telling me that if our girls were being raised in a more Latin culture they would be different as well.I am not Latina by blood but through marriage however my girls are Latina by blood .My oldest daughter I believe relates much more and to a deeper degree than even she may be aware of to her Latin inheritance.As a Gringa I am sorely at a disadvantage and though I can not nor would i want to change my own Italian heritage I do very much want to help my children embrace who and what they are and be comfortable with themselves.
Though my husband and I have always made it a point to help them to see people are people and not one race or ethnicity is better nor worse than another the world will look upon them and see them not just as girls (which that in itself is an obstacle) but as Latinas.So my intent is to try to understand as much as i can so that I can not only become a better woman but also a better mother to my girls.
"Learn a new language and you learn a new way of thinking". I am beginning to see that learning Spanish is not just learning different words for the same thought,but instead learning and having a completely different thought.
Case in point I had always been slim in nature turning thirty turned my slim body into a curvier one (I'm not overweight by any means just not what I had always been and comfortable with) this god awful progression has made me a bit self conscious.So when my husband watches the Spanish channels it aroused in me feelings of yes jealousy, to see all these scantly clothed vivacious beautiful women right there in my living room with my husband looking at them.Nothing to me could be more intimidating short of one of the woman coming into my home in person.So I asked my husband why they had to dress that way was it some sort of job requirement? No sooner had the words to my own insecurities bellowed out of my mouth I felt this strange feeling....I felt like an American prude...I had become the embodiment of how other cultures describe the American culture.Stiff and dull and yes...prudish and even that word prude sounds dull and horrible.
As my husband struggled( I believe )to answer my question and still managed to keep me from feeling even more intimidated he was able to help me see the above quote's validity. When you look at not the culture first but rather the Spanish language you can see how it influences the culture.Every word is either male or female... sex as my husband pointed out is embedded into the culture through the language.Thus the way the women in particular dress and carry themselves is not anything other than the their strong confidence in their own sexuality emanating from within.
Understanding this however did not spontaneously erase my reluctantly admitted insecurities however.But as they say acceptance is the first step in recovery.That is precisely what I need to do recover my self confidence and become a stronger yes gulp more sensuous woman.I feel this is necessary. My husband perhaps unknowingly struck a very sensitive cord by telling me that if our girls were being raised in a more Latin culture they would be different as well.I am not Latina by blood but through marriage however my girls are Latina by blood .My oldest daughter I believe relates much more and to a deeper degree than even she may be aware of to her Latin inheritance.As a Gringa I am sorely at a disadvantage and though I can not nor would i want to change my own Italian heritage I do very much want to help my children embrace who and what they are and be comfortable with themselves.
Though my husband and I have always made it a point to help them to see people are people and not one race or ethnicity is better nor worse than another the world will look upon them and see them not just as girls (which that in itself is an obstacle) but as Latinas.So my intent is to try to understand as much as i can so that I can not only become a better woman but also a better mother to my girls.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Growing up in a neighborhood where I was part of the minority as a white girl you would think it would be difficult. Not my experience at all in fact the latin community that I was in amongst turned out to be the ones that I could count on to have my back and protect me when I needed it. I believe that's precisely when and how I become intrigued and fascinated with the latin culture as a whole. I remember watching the women sweeping the stairs and sidewalk leading up to their door and wondering why do they do that? It wasn't until years later that I was given the explanation...pride..pride in their home regardless of the fact that it was the projects it was still their home.The colorful clothes the flavorful foods the rhythmic music that pulsates through the speakers and your body the passion for life love and each other how could one not be intrigued?
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